The Official Airline of the Biotech Mecca

Greetings.

I apologize for the hiatus, but I have been back in the homeland (that would be Canada), renewing my driver's license. Apparently, my old license has expired, and if I let it go for too long, I will have to start back at the beginning, should I ever want to return home. If you really want to know... read this. Of course, I don't know why I would ever consider such an action, seeing as how loved I am at the Mecca, and how well the company is doing.

In any case, I decided to return back to the land of ice and snow (No... not Washington DC, although I did end up there.) I booked my flights based on the cheapest flights that I could find on the days that I wanted them. I didn't pay attention to who was offering the flights. Strange, I had forgotten my experience going to Maui, where they sat us on a plane for eight hours and gave us half a lousy can of pop (or Soda if you will). On the way home, our single connection in Chicago was canceled due to weather. They told me on the phone that we would connect in Dallas. I KNOW that is what they said. Once we were on the plane, I found out that it was really DULLES (as in Washington DC), but they omitted the fact that the plane was also stopping for four hours in LA, and we had to get off. In any case, that bit of mayhem was brought to us by United Airlines. Apparently, I am not the only one who thinks poorly of them.

There was a certain musician that had a dispute with them over mishandling his guitar. After a year of fighting with them, he posted a song on the internet. It made the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) six o'clock news. Then, it made Fox news. Then, all of a sudden, United decided that they would pay him for the guitar. I have included the link to the original song, as well as a related post, that is even more funny.

United Breaks Guitars

Response to United Breaks Guitars

In any case, I found myself humming this song last night in Buffalo airport. This was shortly after phoning my wife and announcing that I was almost home. After all, I had cleared customs and security. That was the hardest part. Right?

Our flight was supposed to board at 7:00 pm EST, and leave at 7:30. At 7:20 I noticed a distinct lack of airplane at the gate. Funny, even one of those little Embraer commuter jets is hard to hide. Also, there was the lack of person at the gate.

Finally, somebody asked. Strangely enough, I think that United is run by Swiper's cousin (or maybe Swiper himself.) Apparently, they never updated the monitor or rerouted anybody because they didn't realize that the aircraft was sitting on the tarmac of an airport hundreds of miles away in Washington DC. Maybe they could have looked out the window and noticed the lack of aircraft. What about the passengers from that flight? Perhaps they were kidnapped by aliens. Space aliens, not the illegal kind. Or, are space aliens also illegal? Sorry... you can blame the computer glitch on that one too.

Of course, the problem was weather related, as the flight attendant couldn't get to the airport due to the weather. No other flights were canceled that day, however. Then the angry mob began to form. By the time I got to the front of the line, the ticketing agent was too busy complaining about the whining woman with no money and a three year old son that was going to have to sleep in the Buffalo airport because United Airlines was too poor to pay for a hotel room. After all, it was the weather's fault that their flight attendant went on a bender and couldn't make it in to work. That poor woman with the kid should have made contingency plans. At this point, I asked if I could get a new ticket should I get stuck in bad weather driving to the airport. That got me sent off to DC too late to catch my connector. I also noticed the cops coming to hang around the counter. They were obviously on break, fondling their weapons.

In the end, United did pay up for the hotel room in DC. That poor woman with the young child in Buffalo... She probably slept in the airport. I'm sure that my friend at the ticketing counter didn't try to find her a warm bed for the night.

I made it to San Francisco about ten hours late. Of course, United had to call my home at 3:00 AM PST to make sure that I didn't miss my flight. Hey... wasn't I in DC? Didn't they know I was in DC, since it was their idiocy that put me there? They woke my family up. So... while I was sleeping at the DC Hilton, my family was getting crank calls from United Airlines. Nice.

The final insult was finding my luggage already at the airport. It got there before I did. How did they get my luggage there before me, since I was supposedly on the first available flight?

Apparently, United does more than just break guitars.