Lights Out.

It would seem that the thieves can't do nearly as much damage as the used car salesman. He noticed that a bunch of lights were on in the offices last Thursday. It was late, and not many people were around, so he took it upon himself to shut them off and save the Mecca some money on their electricity bill. Of course, he did so by flipping the breaker that controlled the power to half of the building. The half of the building that contained the freezers. The freezers containing something like $100k in newly acquired reagents, special reagents, lovingly procured, signed for by Swiper himself.

Friday morning came along, and the entire biology group spent the morning try to figure out why the alarm on every freezer was screaming at them, while the the heavy equipment in the engineering lab was fully functional. Apparently it was due to the fact that engineers are more likely to shut the lights off when they leave the room.

They probably should fire him. Of course, the last I heard the used car salesman wasn't actually getting paid. I think that he was working for toilet paper, rather than cash. I once heard it said, "If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys." So, does that mean if you pay in toilet paper you get ... Do I need to fill this in?

Is a used car salesman better than a petty thief?

The petty thief, formerly know as the CFO will have to wait for the next post. It would seem, though, his ghost still wandering the Mecca.

Only the best at the Mecca

I went in to work on Saturday morning. I know this sounds odd, seeing as how highly appreciated I feel most of the time. In fact, I didn't go in to do work. I went in to pick up some crap that I had forgotten in my office on Friday night, and to spend some time peacefully working on a presentation. (It just happens that the presentation was part of a job interview to go work for the competition. But that, as they say, is another story.)

So... armed with my shiny new RFID card, I approached the front door and swiped the card. The little light went green, and the door went click. In I went.

I had no more than entered the building when I was confronted by the alarm panel, sitting there, beeping at me to remind me that I had to feed it a code to disable the alarm.

Too bad they had given out the key cards and not bothered to give out the codes. Apparently, the used car salesman that passes for the head of finance had a spreadsheet of codes, and couldn't figure out how to send everybody their code without revealing it to the rest of the company. The solution is obviously to not send ANYBODY their code.

That's ok, I thought, I will just call the security company and tell them who I am before they call the cops. Oh right, nobody sent the info out for the alarm company either.

So... I looked at the card, ignored the alarm, and walked to my desk to look them up on the web. The alarm company's name was on the card after all.

I called the alarm company and gave them my name. Of course, I noticed that it was PRINTED ON THE CARD as well. I was surprised that they didn't put the the Mecca's address on the card for added convenience.

So, they asked me who I worked for. The Mecca didn't ring any bells. They asked me for the address. I gave it to them. Apparently, they didn't have any clients at that address. I tried the company name again. Oh... there it is. And you are? I read them my name as printed on my oh so secure security card. They gave me my code.

Fantastic. And then I laughed at them, told them that I found the card in the parking lot and would leave a nice note behind after I took all of the Mecca's stuff. Har!

I'm Back... for now

Good Evening. So much to say...

The top items for the week are:

Our security company doesn't know where our office is.
The US Postal Service doesn't know where our address is, but the mail man does, so he's looking out for us. You've gotta love the US postal service.
The fire department knows where we are. Apparently the new security system asked them to bring out the hook and ladder.
MNB: See, I didn't even threaten to fire you today.
MNB: I can't believe that he's [Swiper] run two companies. His expectations are totally unreasonable. You can't run a company on wishes.
MNB: You need to remember the rule of three. For each day vacation you want, you need to give me three business days notice. I need to be able to plan. I only have one Harbinger and one Sarcastic Brit. [I should have responded: And I bet even that's too many.]
You may have also heard that the COO needs her beauty rest.

Now... on with the show.

MNB had to have more consultants come in to tell us that we didn't know what we are doing. He actually hired some good consultants this time, and apparently the worst things they could find were that I was too defensive, and that the Sarcastic Brit was too arrogant.

Needless to say, MNB decided that he needed to take the Sarcastic Brit and I to task for it. I believe his exact words were "If you don't clean up your attitude, I will have to ask you to leave the organization." My response was to ask him why he keeps threatening to fire me, and noting the correlation between his threats and my defensiveness. He was confused. Apparently, asking me to leave the organization is not the same as firing me.

The next day, MNB asked me to come into Swiper's office, and handed me a bunch of shares as a reward for good work in helping to make the first commercial shipments happen. Of course, they have a one year vesting period. Maybe the Mecca will still be around in a year. Maybe MNB won't have made good on his threats. Oh well, I can always use free toilet paper. I do not know if the Sarcastic Brit got the same thing. If he didn't it would have been a crime. (He too appreciates a good -that would be free - roll of TP every now and then.) If he's reading now... I was told not to tell anybody... even my best friend. I don't remember any mention of Sarcastic Brits in there though. Nothing like a reward that's not made public. Makes me feel ashamed for doing a good job.

"Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

This week, when the Sarcastic Brit had his one on one meeting with MNB, what I like to call "the weekly whipping", MNB told him that he could be "the most evil manager ever." What would possess somebody to say that type of thing to an employee? Can you say harassment? Of course, I was ready for my weekly whipping, which occurs one day later. I was going to point out that the only power he had over me was firing me. I didn't get my chance.

Unfortunately, MNB worked really hard at being civil during my whipping. He asked me if I was having a problem with anybody. I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean. Perhaps I have made some new enemies that I don't know about. If so, it's news to me. He finished the meeting by noting that he didn't even threaten to fire me, and then accused me of giving him a complex. Funny, he keeps threatening to fire me. And HE's the one developing the complex?

Scary how easy it was to find this blog when searching for the "Sleep well Wesley" quote. It came up number 4. Perhaps I should make it unsearchable by Google. I hope that Swiper and MNB are not Princess Bride fans!

Hijacked

No, he's not been abducted by aliens, just getting ready for vacation.

He says there's not much going on at the mecca which is definitely the truth. With a COO who delays a shipment so she can get her beauty rest what could possibly be happening?