The Blockhead

Greetings, patient readers. My apologies for going so long between posts again, but I have been plotting the demise of the Mecca.

In other news.... I want to write about an often overlooked character at the Mecca.

It turns out that ALL of the software for the flagship instrument platform was written by one guy. That's right... hardware control, UI, algorithms, all written by one lonely guy. The best part about this guy is that he's not even an actually employee at the Mecca - he's a contractor.

So... you might ask why a "world leading" biotechnology company would entrust their entire platform to a consultant. Then, of course you remember that it's the Mecca, and such foolishness is their forte.

I have actually known the Blockhead for a long time. He worked with the Mad Man and I back in the Northland. Unfortunately, due to some strangeness with citizenship and visas and sheer blockheadedness, the Blockhead was unable (perhaps too wise) to get sucked out to Silicon Valley. So, the Blockhead sat is his cave and developed the software without even an instrument to work with. It's truly impressive.

You may be thinking by now that the Blockhead is brilliant. Perhaps he's brilliant when it comes to computer programming, but as the Sarcastic Brit is fond of reminding him "stick to the ones and zeros!"

You see... most people would realize that they are the key to the whole thing and take advantage of the situation. Not the Blockhead. When he had to face down the CFO for contract negotiations, it went something like this:

CFO: Blockhead, you've done some fantastic work, but times are tough, so we can't pay you for as many hours per month.

Blockhead: That's ok, I guess. I am already working twice as many hours as you are paying me for, so I won't really notice working a few more free hours. After all, the decreased value of the US dollar has eroded my wages as well, so I shouldn't even notice that you are paying me less money.

CFO: That's a fantastic way to look at it. I'll give you some underwater stock options as well.

Blockhead: That sounds totally fair.

Harbinger: I have a present for you Blockhead. Here is a bag that says "Mecca Magic Beans". If you plant them in your back yard, maybe a beanstalk will grow that will lead you to the goose that lays the golden eggs.

Blockhead: Cool. I'll have to try it.


Does anybody know: Will white beans grow to give you a beanstalk or a bush??? I guess that it's as likely of a thing as those stock options.