Outline of the CFO

Thanks everybody for your patience (those of you who have not left for pastures in which the grass grows faster.)

Since I have just spent the last two weeks on vacation, I have little new to report. The Mecca continues to be bilked by consultants who charge copious amounts of money for designing piles of poo. MNB now refuses to even talk to the Sarcastic Brit or I. We have effectively been barred from doing any useful work. In fact, I got in on Friday (first day back from vacation) at 10:00 am, and left at 3:00 pm. I also took an hour for lunch. Nobody noticed or complained. But, I digress. Tonight I want to talk about a Mecca all star. The CFO. This character has since been removed, but it took a long time, and the damage that he did was incalculable.

He would walk around stroking his mustache. I am not sure if he ever understood what he was seeing or asking about, but whenever things got stressful, you could count on the CFO to come out of his office to watch you work and ask dumb questions while stroking the mustache,

Although it has been said that the CFO did not know the difference between a debit or a credit, he was well versed in the fact that giving people money resulted in having less of it. To this end, he was constantly trying to save a few bucks, and refused to pay people any earlier than necessary.

When the Sarcastic Brit first started at the Mecca, he was given the job of trying to sort out the IT situation. This was not easy considering the fact that the entire infrastructure was originally set up by a bunch of guys were were lucky to find the on switch on their computers. Needless to say, his first task was to order a bunch of computer equipment. Since there was no purchasing procedure, he just called up Dell and ordered the computers on his credit card. He then submitted his expense report of $5000 and waited to see the check.

Unfortunately, the check didn't arrive, even after a month. So, the Sarcastic Brit started to inquire as to when he might get his money back. The answer was always soon. Unfortunately, soon never seemed to arrive. The situation was finally resolved by the Sarcastic Brit waking into the CFO's office and sitting down.

What are you doing?
I'm waiting for my money.
I'll sign the check soon.
I've heard that one before.
Well... these things take time.
That's OK, I'll wait.
In here?
Yes.
Don't you have work to do?
Yes, but I want my money, so I am going to sit in here and remind you that you need to write me a check.
Let me see what I can do.
Please do.

In the end, it only took a couple of hours of targeted looming on the part of the Sarcastic Brit before he got his money.

Of course, our suppliers never figured out the trick of sitting in the CFO's office, so they would routinely go unpaid for months at a time. I have to admit that it's really embarrassing to call up a vendor regarding a bunch of parts that you desperately need, only to find out that the reason they haven't been shipped is that your employer is on the infamous "credit hold". The worst part of it is that you start to wonder if you next pay check is on the list of payments that "can wait".