OSHA 11

I took a tour of the lab with the Sarcastic Brit the other day. It was scary.

Jar Jar has been using the ionizing air gun that the Sarcastic Brit "sent him to the Home Depot" for. Although the gun was rated for 40 PSI, it wasn't blowing hard enough, so Jar Jar took it upon himself to connect the gun to a nitrogen cylinder at 150PSI. Don't worry about the crazing in the plastic canister that holds the filter. It's alright. Really.

The Sarcastic Brit sent an email out to the company advising that people should read the safety precautions on things and not do dumb stuff like connecting the ionizer at 3+ times the rated pressure.

The response was classic Biotech Mecca. Our boss (Mr. Ineffectual) took the Sarcastic Brit into his office and chewed him out for broadcasting such a stupid thing as a health and safety issue to the entire company.

Hence, our lab walk through. Let us start at the back door. Less than four feet from the door (in the traffic pattern), resting on a plastic garbage can (with a lid that isn't flat) are two gallon bottles of a concentrated mixture of phosphoric, nitric and acetic acid. Not to worry, it's on a level surface... or not. It's out of the way... or not. It's safe... or not.

Next, we will move on to the four additional gallons sitting in the crate in the middle of the floor. Then, there are the (still) uncorked carboys containing the concentrated nitric acid/hexane mixture. Of course all of this stuff is within five feet of the door, and very much in the traffic pattern. It's alright, we only have to dodge landmines of concentrated acid to get to work. No problem. Perhaps somebody should reintroduce Jar Jar to the acid cabinet.

Next, there is the sink. This particular sink is a laundry tub (of the cheap Walmart variety.) It is not plumbed in, as the landlord doesn't want his tenants to actually use the building. But... we really need a sink there. No problem. We will just place this five gallon pail (open of course) under the sink to catch the waste. And guess what - two more gallon bottles of concentrated acid are sitting in the sink.

Now, we haven't even got to the heinous stuff yet. Remember that Email? Either Jar Jar or Princes Amidala decided to provide a bit of insurance against the ionizing air gun blowing up, so they carved a couple of holes in a plastic tool box to create secondary blast mitigation. I wonder what the blast rating is on a $5 plastic tool box.

Closer inspection revealed something even more interesting. Apparently, Jar Jar ran out of nitrogen. No problem, the plasma asher is right there, and it has a gas bottle. All gas bottles are the same, right? The regulator doesn't fit. That's ok, we will just swap over the gun to the new regulator. The bottles are both green. They are the same thing right?

What do you get when you run oxygen through an ionizer. Only ozone. Carry on. Nothing to see here. We're just filling the lab up with ozone. It's ok to breath. No strong oxidizers here.

We reported the issues to Mr. Ineffectual (who is supposedly Princess Amidala's boss, who is now supposedly Jar Jar's boss). He said that he will look into it.

I suggested that the Sarcastic Brit's next health and safety email be sent to a different organization. Perhaps OSHA.

It's strange. EWA once referred to Jar Jar as "a douche bag with the cranial capacity of a walnut." Everybody thought that he was out of line. There were several complaints. My only complaint was that he wasn't harsh enough. Eventially Princess Amidala and Mr. Ineffectual will be unable to defend him. My only fear is what the event will be. Will burning down the building and killing the majority of the Mecca's employees be sufficient. Probably not -Swiper probably wouldn't notice if the company were gone anyway.